Captivity makes me Peevish...

However, seeing as I am 4 months pregnant and feeling 4 strokes under par basically always, I often find myself at home in my favorite Sherlock Holmes-ish chair drinking things like cran-bluberry juice instead of what I really want, reading about what size the baby is in reference to fruits and household objects, and eating toast.
Some people might be silly enough to think I have it 'made'. However these same people clearly don't know me very well, or have never known the tedium that is unemployment.
I am not saying that I myself am unemployed, I just told you, I drink juice, eat toast, and split cells all day. You can make a fine living I am told creating humans. However, I do have a career to fall back on as an artist. Small bits of paper on mostly white canvas is my specialty. Also, committing to design projects for people who you never hear from again. I do this particularly well.
Kent thinks a blog will help curb the adverse effects of my captivity and as an added bonus make me a less private person. We will see.

To start, I am carrying a person in my uterus called "The Barley". Many wonder at this, but I have a knack for creating nicknames (from scratch) that stick, whether you want them to or not.
Someday when my child is graduating from college it will turn to me with sageness and ask me why I have called him/her a hardy cereal for all these years. And I will reply with my typical sageness "that it is because I first fell in love with you when you were just the size of a Barley". We'll embrace and it will be caught on video.
But anyone else who asks will get the answer that it was the size of a Barley when it started stripping away my health and forced me into blogging.

Also a note! If you intend to peek in on my writing on a regular basis you will notice a couple of things that I would rather tell you about first so that I can have a sort of "I told you so" satisfaction. I have decent grammar, but not flawless and don't intend to make it flawless for fear of losing it's "conversational quality". If you are looking for brilliant writing without error go to kentwalter.com. Also I use "quotes" and (these guys) incessantly, and many of these ... dot dot dots.